Mike's Porn Reviews

Double Penetration Tryouts 1

This is one of those "reality porn" movies that have become increasingly popular. Unfortunately, the realism is pretty inconsistent. I say this because they usually ask the girl if she's done DP before, and she always answers no. That's a pretty good clue right there; if a girl is going to do a DP for the very first time in her life, do you really think it's going to be on-screen? At the very least, she would have done a dildo DP, to get an idea of what it will feel like. Moreover, I can recognize a few of these performers, yet they all act as if they've never done anything like this before. And when the DP starts, they usually react with exaggerated cries of pain and protest which are pretty obviously at the behest of the director, and whose only purpose is to convince the audience that they really are DP virgins. Come on, we're not stupid. We know they're not really DP virgins. Oh well, I guess certain viewers just want to fool themselves.

The first scene stars Ria Lynn, a cute brunette who I've seen before, and who says she's never been with two guys at once before (ha ha). They go through the usual progression from blowjobs to blowjobs+vaginal, and then to DP. It's actually a pretty good scene until the DP starts and she starts acting as if someone shoved a red-hot poker up her ass. It's obviously not bothering her that much, because she makes no serious effort to get the guy's cock out of her ass, but she's pretty obviously protesting for the camera. I guess the viewers are supposed to think it's a genuine first-time DP if she acts as if it's really painful. But for me, if the pain is real, then I don't like it because I don't like seeing women in pain. And if the pain is fake (as it is here), then I don't like it because I like verisimilitude in my porn. Either way, it's a losing situation. It's too bad, because the scene is pretty good otherwise.

The second scene stars Sara (I'm guessing this is a real name rather than a stage name, because she withheld her last name), a blonde whose scene is similar to scene #1 except that she's dealing with more and bigger cocks (specifically, 3 guys instead of 2, and two of those three guys are Shane Diesel and Sledge). This time, there's a setup: she's supposedly an aspiring actress and the guys have promised her that they can get her acting work. She's not a model but she's cute, and things are looking good ... until she strips naked. What's wrong with her appearance, you say? Well, let's just say that she shaved her pubic area shortly before doing this scene, and the entire region is covered with angry red razor-burn bumps:

Every time the camera moves to her naughty parts, we the viewers are treated to the sight of white skin dotted with dozens of red bumps, so it looks like she has severe acne all over her pubic area and inner thighs. She doesn't make the exaggerated and obviously fake pain sounds that Ria Lynn does, so it would actually be a pretty good scene (maybe the best scene on the disc) if not for all those red bumps. But I just can't get past them, and I'm pretty sure most viewers would have the same problem. It looks like Pimple City down there.

Scene 3 stars Genesis. She ... wait a minute, what the fuck kind of name is Genesis? Were her parents Bible thumpers who decided to name their daughter after the first book of the Old Testament? I wonder what they think of their daughter doing porn. She actually looks a little trashy, with a huge tattoo on her back; not exactly what you'd expect from someone named "Genesis". Anyway, she says that not only has she never done DP before, she's never even done anal. Of course, when one of the guys sticks it in her ass, she howls in mock pain, but the guy keeps shoving it in and she eventually gets used to it. It goes without saying that you should not try this in reality, folks. If you stick your penis in a girl's ass and she says it hurts, you would cause her excruciating pain if you simply keep thrusting, because she'll tense up. You have to get her to relax. Anyway, the pain is just believable enough to be annoying, but it's still definitely not genuine and this is obviously not her first time taking a cock up the ass. Again, not much in the way of verisimilitude.

Scene 4 stars Macy, who I've seen before. She's a tall, skinny blonde who looks and acts like she could be an authentic ingenue, even though I know she's not. She doesn't have a model face, but she's pretty enough. However, I know a lot of people might be turned off by her skinniness, which could perhaps best be described as boniness. My wife is quite thin by normal standards but this girl makes my wife look downright thick by comparison: you can clearly see the outline of her sternum, for fuck's sake. Anyway, this time there's a setup: she's supposed to be a cosmetologist who wants to work in the movies, and the guys claim to be movie producers interviewing for hairstylists. Instead of doing the usual shtick where they tell her that they'll get her a job if she sucks their cocks, they actually come clean and say that they're porn producers, and then ask her if she wants to work in porn. It's actually pretty well done even though I know perfectly well that she's done porn before. When the DP starts, she does the usual not-quite-believable howls of pain that the director seems to have asked for in this movie.

The fifth and final scene stars Ali (another porn actress who apparently has only a first name). She's wearing a tight-buttoned shirt and a pink cowboy hat, for an interesting look that I assume looks quite normal in certain parts of Los Angeles. Anyway, there's no real setup for this one, so the scene is distinguished by only two things: she actually has pubic hair (quite unusual nowadays), and her reactions to the anal and the DP are a little more believable than the norm for this movie.

In conclusion, three of five scenes on this disc suffer from a lack of verisimilitude. They're not terrible scenes, but they're not exactly good scenes either. The remaining two are more genuine, but the first one is marred by the red bump landscape of doom, which leaves just one thumbs-up scene on the disc, and a bunch of "OK, not great" scenes to go with it. You could do worse, but you could do quite a bit better too, even from the same studio. The Gangbang Squad series works better, because they don't make the girls pretend they're anal virgins. Hint for directors: porno stars can't act. Don't make them pretend they can.

Rating: 2/5
Anal/DP: yes
Choking/slapping/abuse: no
Running time: 2 hours, 22 minutes
Video quality: very good
Studio: Pink Visual
Producer: Unknown
Director: Unknown

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